decision has been made
and im feeling pretty good about it
it’s gonna be okay because i know that this is where im supposed to be going
only sucky part is telling my mother, then telling my father
but from there, I think it’s gonna be okay
just gotta get through the sucky part.
but I hope you know that whatever you need I am still here for you. Even though we haven’t talked. I loved you like a sister and once I love you, I’ll never stop, no matter what. I know I should probably just say this instead of typing it out to myself and hoping that one day you may see it, but I feel like it’s not as simple as that. But yes, I just hope you know that I do care and always will.
I’m quiet. I’m more of a listener than a talker. I am easily distracted. I enjoy spending time alone. I don’t like big groups of people. I don’t believe I’m shy, I just would rather listen. I don’t stress about tomorrow or the next day or the next day. I enjoy the moment, and that’s it. I do not hold grudges. I’m emotionally stable and do not get easily upset or offended. Yet I have never had something traumatic happen to me either so who knows. I’m weird. I like to write down my thoughts. If I ever have a problem, or have to make a very big decision, I like to write down my thoughts on the subject and sometimes I even make lists. I like lists. and I like journals. I have a journal my friend gave me my last day of high school which I still write in. I also have a journal in order to write down my feelings on my relationship. I have another journal like thing on my ipad to write down my random thoughts. I don’t use tumblr anymore for that kind of stuff really, I learned my lesson. Sometimes I feel like a unicorn. I have days where I feel like i’m going to end up living alone with my bull dog named Tang or my golden retriever named Air Bud. I don’t really know why I’m writing this right now. I don’t really know what I’m even doing anymore. I contradict myself a lot. Maybe it’s because I like to make people happy so sometimes I just say things to make people happy, when in fact I don’t really know what the fuck I want.
It’s been a tough week. But getting to go back to the art I love, made everything better. And now that I permanently have it back in my life, I feel like the same old me again, the happy Natalie. The stress free Natalie. I feel like Fofinha again. I’m back on track.
Everything is going to be okay now.
I’m on cloud 9 right now.
My goodness it’s scary to know how addicted I am to this art.
Be part of a flash mob
& that’s it.
and since when did hitting enter on the fucking title mean yes post this already.
“My bucket list for this summer.
-Dye my hair red -Learn some new floreiro -Go to a salsa club -Go to a hookah lounge -Get a tattoo -Skinny Dip Can I just say I actually don’t like that new shakira song Rabiosa or whatever. Like wtf, if you like it bite me en la boca. Maybe it’s because im not a fan of spanglish and mixing languages. Anyways… -Lose weight, like as in lose so much weight that I am forced to go and buy some new clothes. -Pass this stupid class -Meet a boy close to my age -Get a job with an event/marketing agency -Go a strip club” I think I accomplished all of these besides the floreiro part :( haha YAYYYYYYY FUCK YEAH!
